sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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