just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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