Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
