it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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