Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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