D3 body, D1 cock
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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