Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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