Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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