we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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