hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
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