She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
