I wanna passion pit in your ass
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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