Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
