the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
