Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
