I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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