Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So drunk its hurt
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
