mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
