so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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