I'm jealous of your bromance
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize