ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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