Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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