Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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