just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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