I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
