You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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