Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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