piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
That's intense
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't deserve a penis
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
