I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
