Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
