i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it because I queefed?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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