apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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