remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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