I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
