I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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