I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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