he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize