Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wish there were birth control emojis
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize