In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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