belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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