i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
