one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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