everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
