Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
there is puke in my bra ... again
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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