i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
