almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
