we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
