we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
