You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
