Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
