just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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