Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
