Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
