Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
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