Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my being single is dangerous.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize