Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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