can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My penis needs a shock collar
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
