Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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