I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
