This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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